The basics of RPG's, 101!
by McGwee
Summary: This is for all you people who don't know, or haven't figured it out, that there are things RPGs have in common! Read if you want to know!
1. 101

Me: Welcome all to my one-shot that tells you about the basics about RPGs. Just about every RPG as a few of these things in them.  
  
Isaac: Will you every get around to telling us what the basics are?  
  
Felix: Yeah... This isn't Golden Sorrow, so you can put people from different game besides Golden Sun!  
  
Me: And I will!  
  
Link: Hi... I really didn't want to be here but...  
  
Dart: Shut-up... I'm only here because her brothers plays my game 24/7 and because of that, she knows the game better then he does!!!  
  
Me: *looks proud of herself*  
  
Cloud: Yeah... I really shouldn't be here because she's playing final fantasy 7 right now and she hasn't beaten it yet... but shes taken to guessing everything that going to happen, and she's been right about most of the stuff... I guess she really could pull off this class thing...  
  
Me: * looks really proud of herself *  
  
Zidane: Damn it people! Stop kissing up to her! You know she's going to get a big head from all this!  
  
Me: * stops looking happy and pulls out a Holy Bow and Purified Arrows... sorry about the holy/pure thing... I'm really getting in to Inu-Yasha... *  
  
Zidane: Just try it sister! I bet you can't even hold that thing right! * gets in to the fight look he does a lot in the game *  
  
Me: Oh yeah! * tries to put the arrow and bow together but can't hold it up right... *  
  
Zidane: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Me: All right.... your going to die-  
  
Cloud: Umm... could you pick a different time... your suppose to be telling the readers about the basics of RPGs!!!  
  
Me: Fine....  
  
Isaac: Sooo... What are you going to do... Professor..eh?  
  
Me: Kitsune  
  
Isaac: Right... Professor Kitsune?  
  
Me: I'll be telling you the basic rules and then I'll you over some things that happen in just about every game...  
  
Felix: ... Woah... I think shes really blow a fuse...  
  
Dart: Whata-u-mean?  
  
Felix: All year shes been waiting for the summer to come, and now shes going to act like a teacher? Thats scary...  
  
Dart: ... true...  
  
Me: Hem, hem... God I've been reading Harry Potter too long... any ways... Here are some of the rules...  
  
1) Other planets the can hold life like Earth  
  
In most games the world you are saving as a name like ' Terra, Gaia, Endness, Weyard, and other things like that.   
  
Likeliness of happening : 80%  
  
2) On those other planets that can hold life like Earth, there are normal human-like people  
  
Most of the people you will meet in the game will be, or be called human.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 99.5%  
  
3) With those humans that life on a planet that is like earth, but isn't, there is nothing weird with people having powers that normal people don't.  
  
Sometime you will run into a person that is abit different from the rest of the humans that don't life on earth ( lets call them non-earthlings) These people have the power to to things such as: hold fire, lighting, water, wind, move the earth at will, read minds, float, glow pink-ish red-ish, release a magic wave thing, fly, make a little stone glow a color and all of sudden the person is wearing a new outfit, fly next to dragons, ride on a dragon, have the dragon obey you...etc.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 99.9%  
  
4) You are one of those people that can do thing others can't.  
  
You can cast spells and fly and nobody really cares if you can do it or not.   
  
Likeliness of happening: 99.99%  
  
5) You are a person that can't remember were they came from or don't know were you can from.  
  
The hero has a case of that thing that makes so you can't remember things... I'd say it out front but I'm not the best at spelling...   
  
Likeliness of happening: 75.9%  
  
6) The hero slowly remembers thing after a period of time, only when he and his friends have started to fight or ending.  
  
The hero will fight somebody and during that fight they will remember things that they wouldn't be able to remember if they had tried but when they don't think about it, it comes back to them.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 90%  
  
7) The hero turns out to be something not born into the world, but made.  
  
In the start of the game the hero will think he's just about normal... by the time the game reaches the end, the hero will have found out that he's a android, golem, soulless life from, a dream ( don't you at me, A friend who played final fantasy 10 told that the hero was only a dream...) or something along those lines...  
  
Likeliness of happening: 95%  
  
8) The first boy you can play ( mostly likely the hero) and the first girl you can play will fall in love.  
  
The hero will most likely fall in love with the first girl he meets, who turns out to be a person that joins your party.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 100% if you HAVE a party.  
  
9) The hero will NOT have a party.  
  
In the unlike event that the hero doesn't have a party, they wont fall in love with any one that you would normally reach. You'll have to go over walls and hide from people and stuff...  
  
Likeliness of happening: 10%  
  
10) The battle system from your game involves you suddenly jumping in to a fight.  
  
When on a normal screen, all of a sudden the screen will fade and you will find yourself in a fight screen.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 99.99%  
  
11) You will have to find your party threw the game.  
  
Threw the game your hero will find other people that he will change and they will join him on his journey. it doesn't matter WHAT happened to them, he will still change the way they think and make them believe that he's doing the right thing.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 99.9999999999%  
  
12) There will aways be someone that has magic.  
  
In your party there will aways be someone that is good with magic and as lots of MP, or PP, and there will be people that aren't as good and are better off just attacking.  
  
Likeliness of happening: 100%  
  
Zidane: Those are the things that are most RPGs have in common.  
  
Cloud: Soooo... is there anything else that they should know?  
  
Me: Hmm...  
  
Dart: How about the things in RPGs that are weird?  
  
Link: What do you means weird?  
  
Hiro: She means things that are weird to the real world.  
  
Me: Ohhh... I have a few!!!  
  
1) love-sucker  
  
When the hero meets a girl, the first girl that can join your party, he falls in love with her at first sight and form that point on they will do whatever it takes to help them and wont take crap from anyone about her. Even if she fell from the sky in blue light and the first thing she wanted was to see a goddess. ( lunar II)  
  
2) you are the world's most liked person.  
  
It doesn't matter were in the world in are, everyone you meet, meaning people that don't really DO anything, they talk to you like you and them have been the best of friends your whole life. ( every game know to man )  
  
3) there are no such thing has a locked door.  
  
It doesn't matter what happened to them, the people of the town you are in will let you in there house. There isn't anyone who locks there door, but if for some reason you find a locked door, then you know that you need to go there. I don't know how the really works but...  
  
4) Theres no such thing as logic when you are in a dungeon.  
  
It doesn't matter how the dungeon is made out of... there will be times that to solve the room, you need to do something that doesn't seem like it would work. And It doesn't matter how MANY people you have in your party or how much they WEIGH, there will be times when the wind can carry you across the room. There are other things to, but I think you get the idea.  
  
5) A ten-year-old girl or boy can use any weapon.  
  
It doesn't matter what the weapon is, a sword, gun, 5-foot boomerang, twin blades, and they can use it just as good, or even better then grown-ups. They can even be ninja masters or things like that.  
  
6) Even though the bad guys hates you, they wont kill the first time.  
  
The bad guys will bump in to you a few times, and each time they do, they leave wishing that they killed you when they first had the chance to do so. In the end you kill them and the first thing that mostly likely comes across their minds is most likely ' why didn't I kill them when I had the chance'  
  
Me: There are other things but... you get the idea....  
  
Review!!!  
  
oh... If you have Ideas tell me and I'll add a chapter for that.  
  
Review!  
  
please review!!!!  
  
REVIEW DAMNIT!!!!! 


	2. Honors

Me: For some really weird reason, you people actully LIKE this fanfic...  
  
Ivan: I know... It's sooo weird...  
  
Felix: Yeah... Next to Golden Sorrow and Tears for Kalay, this fanfic was her best one to be reviewed...  
  
Zidane: And do you want to know what the weirdest part is?  
  
All: Yeah!  
  
Zidane: Someone asked her to make another chapter about this stuff!  
  
All: * gasps *  
  
Cloud: Woah! I can't believe that people would want her to update... The world just gets weirder and weirder...  
  
Me: Hem, hem! ... God I've got to lay off the Harry Potter for a while... Do you mind? If you don't have nothing nice to say-  
  
All but her: DON'T SAY IT AT ALL!  
  
Me: ...No, If you don't have anything nice to say, shut-up or I'll chuck you out! Now bug-off or go have a lie down.  
  
Link: Umm...  
  
Me: Yes?  
  
Link: I think you should really lay off the Harry Potter... Your starting to use terms from the book...  
  
Me: Soo? * holds up 300 pound, 6 feet tall, axe.*  
  
Link: ummm... nothing!  
  
Me: good idea...  
  
Hiro: Where did you get that?  
  
Me: Get what?  
  
Dart: The giant axe.  
  
Me: I Borrowed it from Kongol...  
  
Dart: Which means...  
  
Ivan: She took it without asking and now hes going to wonder where it went...  
  
* Sure enough, Kongol comes in to the room, scratching his head. *  
  
Kongol: Kongol wants to know if you see Kongol's axe.  
  
All: NO!!  
  
Kongol: Fine, Kongol go look somewere else...  
  
* He leaves *  
  
Me: OK, lets get on with this... I think I'll go on with the weird thing... I might repeat things that I've said before, but, Think of this as a review...  
  
1) Your Party will always have the same kind of stats.  
  
Some one in your party will have a high attack stat and a low speed stat. A girl in your party will have a high speed stat and a low defense stat, plus she'll have lots of healing magic. There will be somebody that as a good mix of all the stats, that person will most likly be the hero. There will be somebody that as good magical defense and attack but sucks in regular attack and defence. I can go on and on about stats but you get the point.  
  
2) Your party will always have more boys then girls.  
  
For some reason, most of the RPGs have more boys then girls and when a girl does enter, she will be the healer and she will be the easyist to kill. This really gets to me, so thats why I was happy when I played Lunar II. because, There are more girls then boys, The second best attacker is not a boy, but a girl, the healer in the party is a boy. This rocks!  
  
3)The story behind the RPG will always be the same.  
  
The story the will always be just about the same. You play the hero, he leaves home and one member of his family back at his house. Over time he learns more about the main villain and gets more party members and in the end, they win and the their world is saved.  
  
4) The disappearing of people.  
  
For some weird reason, all the people in your party will always be away for sight, unless something happens that makes them appear.  
  
5) The reappearing people.  
  
When something happens that makes your people reappear, they will always just suddenly pop out from the person you move around, how they got there is anyones guess, and then when its done they disappear right back into the hero again.  
  
Ivan: Yeah that is weird...  
  
Me: You do it!  
  
Ivan: Well, its not my fault that Isaac is the person that the people that control!  
  
Isaac: Hey its not my fault! The people just love me!  
  
Felix: Me too!  
  
Cloud: Ditto!  
  
Zidane: 'Yo!  
  
Hiro: Yeah!  
  
Garet: YOU! Don't get to be in that group!  
  
Hiro: Why?  
  
Garet: Because your party doesn't disappear! They always follow behind you!  
  
Hiro: Don't hate.  
  
Me: Can we get back to the story now people!  
  
Link: Hey you did that on yourself!  
  
Me: Huh?  
  
Link: Your running out of things, so your having them talk while you think!  
  
Me: ... Don't make me hurt you...  
  
Link: I'm not scared of you.  
  
Ivan: You should.  
  
Link: Why?  
  
Garet: Because she's well know for her creatively.  
  
Link: Whys that a bad thing?  
  
Isaac: Because right now shes thinking of a why to hurt you and its going to be cruel and unusual.  
  
Link: Your kidding right?  
  
Ivan: Wish we were.  
  
Me: Ohhh Link...  
  
Link: Get away from me! * turns and runs away *  
  
Me: What? I was just going ask him if he wanted a cookie...  
  
All the others: heh heh heh!!!  
  
Me: Did you scare him!  
  
All: Yes...  
  
Me: Wow... I gotta try that in Golden Sorrow... Anyways... back to the story-ish thing!  
  
6) Talkative people.  
  
In most storys the people do more talking in fighting. I don't really have a joke about this but it really gets to me.  
  
7) Leveing of hell.  
  
For some reason the makers of RPGs find it quite fun to watch people watse hours and hours of time getting their butts kicked so they can beat some boss guy.  
  
8) Fazeing light.  
  
Note: Thank you Mr. Jupiter for this one. How the hell does lighting get in the houses and things without blowing a hole in the roof? Does the roof have some kind of build in spell that maeks lighting go throught roofs? Its a weird world, that of video games...  
  
9) Size matters.  
  
How about when you go in a cave, I mean the ones that you go in on the gameboy. you just go in a hole and all of a sudden, you've got this huge place that, if logic was real to the makers of video games, wouldn't be there. How the hell did it all get there?  
  
10) I feel special.  
  
How about when you enter a place filled with monsters and you have to fight them, but sometimes you run into other people and THEY don't look like they had to fight monters. They act like there just talking a hike.  
  
11) Other randomness.  
  
And their are loads of other stuff that RPGs have in common but I'm going to let you have the fun of finding them out.  
  
Garet: Gee... you really did run out of ideas!  
  
Me: Shut-up.  
  
Garet: Why?  
  
Me: Because I have a cruel and unusual idea that I will make you do if you don't.  
  
Garet: Shuting up.  
  
Me: Good.  
  
Ivan: La-la-laaa!  
  
Isaac: Why are you so happy...?  
  
Ivan: Because my Kitsune is a fbm!  
  
Link: I think we all got that before you told us.  
  
Ivan: How?  
  
Felix: Her pen name in ' Ivan's Kitsune' I think that says it all.  
  
Me: Don't hate. Review y'all! 


End file.
